nooks, crannies
I was a boy soldier with too much on my plate
Too big to ignore, too permanent to erase
So I sheltered in place, my case
A string of numbers counting to infinity,
Visits from strangers who held keys to ivory gates
Or the life of street urchins, pull me aside
I held my line, a loyal soldier, never abandoned
My duty, my family, my master I served
A Lord, my grace in the heat of battle
Was seeing the bigger picture, painting
With broad strokes, not a victim, I was
The reinforcer, I was so happy to be a
Loyal soldier, compose details to bolster
A narrative that kept guns in holster,
A narrative that put me front of the poster
Child but still a loyal soldier
Who wouldn't be taken alive,
CPS with badges and power outside,
Internalize and lie and lie,
Spend the rest of your life, lie awake
Learning to acknowledge
What I lie to protect
Where I lie myself
Are one and the same
Found my bed in the bedlam,
Attic home in the havoc,
Chaos unraveling, thankful
For tv static, stasis
In the dustiest places,
Nooks, crannies, free to run the bases